Bittersweet Father’s Day: Missing My Dad, While Being One

Father’s Day is approaching, and with it comes a swirl of emotion that I’ve come to know all too well. It’s a day that used to be simple—one to honor and celebrate my dad, Vaa Lemau. But now, since he passed, it carries a weight I feel deep in my heart. I miss him more than words can express.

His presence, his laugh, the strength in his voice, and the way he made everything feel like it was going to be okay. I miss the conversations we never got to finish, the wisdom he shared in the simplest moments, and the comfort of just being his son.

And yet, while I grieve, I also live out the role he modeled for me—I’m now the dad. I look at the five incredible children God has given me, and I carry his legacy in how I love and lead them. I often find myself wondering, “How did Dad do this so well?” I wish I could call him, ask his advice, or hear him laugh at a story about his grandkids.

I wish my children could know him, not just through the stories I tell, but through the steady love and quiet strength he lived out every day. I hope they feel echoes of him through me—through how I encourage them, protect them, and show up for them.

This Father’s Day, I’m holding space for both grief and gratitude. I’m missing my dad, and I’m thanking God for the opportunity to be one. I’m learning that it’s okay for both to exist at once. That love doesn’t end, even when someone is no longer here. And that the greatest way I can honor Vaa Lemau is to carry what he taught me into the way I father my own children.

To those who are walking through this day with a tender heart—grieving while also celebrating—I’m with you. You are not alone.

This Father’s Day, I’ll laugh with my kids, soak in the joy of being with them, and quietly whisper a prayer of thanks for the dad who shaped me. I’ll miss him, but I’ll also live in a way that would make him proud.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you. And thank you—for everything.